Fuck Yeah Historical Hotties

historical-nonfiction: Kennedy was banned from entering the...

Sat, 04 May 2013 12:51:30 -0700

Kennedy was banned from entering the army, but far be it from him to allow anything to stop him. So, he had his dad pull some strings and he got into the navy. He eventually became a lieutenant in the navy. Today, he has an aircraft carrier named after him.

Hello sailor…

wallofdis: lavenderculture: Jacques d’Adelswärd-Fersen...

Tue, 22 Jan 2013 10:38:42 -0800

wallofdis:

lavenderculture:

Jacques d’Adelswärd-Fersen (1880-1923) was a French poet and novelist who was convicted in Paris for “inciting youth to commit debauchery”. Fersen (above) then fled from France to the Island of Capri, Italy and built a villa there, “dedicated to the youth of love”. The Island of Capri had also attracted other homosexual and bisexual men, such as Oscar Wilde and Alfred Douglas. This villa was called “Villa Lysis”, where he lived with his lover Nino Cesarini (below). The two edited a literary magazine which was meant to be a subtle defense of homosexual love, called “Akademos”.

Portrait of Nino Cesarini by Paul Hocker, 1904.

An account of their relationship was written by Roger Peyrefitte, 1959.

http://lavenderculture.tumblr.com/

If you could still be convicted in Paris for “inciting youth to commit debauchery” then I would be in jail by now.

Ummm….I don’t know how much inciting would really be necessary. That face, debauchery, okay, let’s go.

runforyourlifeifyoucan writes: Lt. J. B. Washington and Second...

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 18:53:56 -0800

runforyourlifeifyoucan writes:

Lt. J. B. Washington and Second Lt. George Custer. Double cute. This picture was taken after Washington was captured as a Confederate prisoner. Washington and Custer were ex-classmates and friends. Custer is best known for The Battle of Little Bighorn, aka “Custer’s Last Stand,” part of the Great Sioux War. Custer lost his life and his regiment suffered a severe defeat.

Sad story, no? All I can say is, at least they were good lookin’.

Well all I can say is: Goddamn, boy! This confederate prisoner guy must have seceded from the union because it just couldn’t handle all that sexy. Also, I love that Custer was like, “Oh hey, I know that guy! Yeah, the one in handcuffs! We went to school together. Here, let’s get a picture!”

Who does that.

Nikola Tesla. Inventor. Engineer. Stone cold fox. Hey girl....

Wed, 28 Dec 2011 15:02:14 -0800

Nikola Tesla. Inventor. Engineer. Stone cold fox.

Hey girl. I’m feeling a lot of electromagnetism between us. You want to come upstairs and transfer some wireless energy with me?

(Thanks to Terri for the submission.)

Our Submitter Erin says: Honestly, one of the best-looking...

Wed, 14 Dec 2011 03:46:44 -0800

Our Submitter Erin says:

Honestly, one of the best-looking presidents that America has ever had, not to mention the outstanding work he had accomplished during his presidency. He may not be one of the most conventionally beautiful males around, but he sure was a looker!

Look at him chop that wood!

And you know, I’m inclined to agree. I’ve always been a sucker for tall guys, beards, and acknowledgment of moral ambiguity.

harunwasagoon: Recently featured on Bangable Dudes in...

Tue, 09 Aug 2011 20:09:15 -0700

harunwasagoon:

Recently featured on Bangable Dudes in History

The linked blog is like this blog, but on Blogger and possibly better! Enjoy.

(I’m working on an update, I promise.)

The handsome young man is a young Robert E. Lee. So, way back in...

Fri, 29 Jul 2011 17:41:04 -0700

The handsome young man is a young Robert E. Lee.

So, way back in 1861, my buddy Abe Lincoln was like, “Yo Robbie. You wanna control the whole entire Union Army even though you’re from Virginia which is leaning towards not being in the Union anymore? You’re just such an awesome army dude, I think you’d do a good job.” And Robert E. Lee was like, “no,” and fought for the Confederacy even though he disagreed with secession purely out of loyalty to his state.

Forget wanting to tap that, I want to marry that! If he showed that kind of loyalty to his state, I’m pretty sure he’d be awesome at committed relationships. (But I also would like to tap that.)

Fun Facts:

He married George Washington’s Step-Great-Granddaughter.

He and Ulysses S. Grant were tight during the Mexican-American War.

His estate is what is now Arlington National Cemetery.

Dylan Thomas, a Welsh poet who wrote poetry that was not in...

Wed, 23 Mar 2011 21:02:00 -0700

Dylan Thomas, a Welsh poet who wrote poetry that was not in Welsh. Copious drinker, young genius, radio performer. I like his style. Both personal style (that ascot! dayum!) and writing style:

“Do not go gentle into that good night.” Well, Mr. Thomas. I do have another idea of what you can go gentle into…

I am sad. I reeeeeally want to recommend this blog in the category of Historical, but I don't really think it "chronicles or recounts historical works or information." DOESN'T TUMBLR REALIZE THAT APPRECIATING THE SEXY THAT HAS SADLY LEFT THIS WORLD IS JUST AS IMPORTANT A HISTORICAL PURSUIT AS THOSE THINGS???

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 01:01:48 -0800

WOW! That’s really nice of you, and I appreciate your firm morals in not nominating inaccurately. But let’s take a look, shall we?

I would like to draw your attention to the definition of the word recount. According to my dashboard widget, it means “to tell someone about something.”

Look, I may not tell you a whole lot of “facts” or “dates” or use “reputable sources.” It’s mostly just innuendos. But I do certainly tell someone (you) about something (the important information that some historical people were hot).

So I would be honored to be nominated in the Historical category. (For the history purists out there, might you consider the Humor category?) And I will try to send some sexy ghosts your way in lieu of a thank you note.

Jack. Fucking. Johnson. As a truly magnificent boxer, he mashed...

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 00:47:40 -0800

Jack. Fucking. Johnson. As a truly magnificent boxer, he mashed men’s brains in on a regular basis. And I don’t know about you, but I am kind of turned on by mashed brains.

He also had a certain determination that I find quite attractive. He became the first African-American World Heavyweight Boxing Champion after following the current champion around the world for two years and harassing him in front of the press. Two years? That’s my kind of stamina. I’d like Jack Johnson to whip the Great White Hope with me for 15 rounds, if you know what I mean.

carolathhabsburg: The famous John Brown, friend of Queen...

Wed, 01 Dec 2010 13:13:32 -0800

carolathhabsburg:

The famous John Brown, friend of Queen Victoria. He was a handsome scots man *0*

Not really my type (not digging the chin beard), but I understand the allure. I mean, come on, what do you think he’s hiding with that very large fur? Plus I could totally see wrapping myself in that gargantuan plaid shawl thing for a little post-coital cuddling.

unrulygirl: lostsplendor: Currently writing an essay on poetry...

Sat, 20 Nov 2010 20:36:37 -0800

unrulygirl:

lostsplendor:

Currently writing an essay on poetry written by veterans of The Great War, so here’s some Wilfred Owen. As you can see, he was fine. Enjoy.

As it is, part of my English A-level syllabus tackles about twenty-two of Owen’s war poems. Joy.

I’d like him to Dulce my Decorum Est, if you know what I mean.

Phineas Gage is a darling of neuropsychology. He’s famous...

Sun, 14 Nov 2010 08:01:07 -0800

Phineas Gage is a darling of neuropsychology. He’s famous because he was working on the railroad in 1848 when there was a huge explosion and a giant tamping rod shot through the side of his head and stuck out the other end and literally pulverized his frontal lobe, and he SURVIVED. For TWELVE MORE YEARS. That’s incredible. And what’s even more incredible is how hot he remained after the accident. Double damn.

Personally, I am liking the wolfish hair and full lips in J. M....

Sun, 14 Nov 2010 00:13:50 -0800

Personally, I am liking the wolfish hair and full lips in J. M. W.’s self portrait here. But he may just have been flattering himself? Still, it’d take a lot of flattering to make this out of some ugly guy. So I’ll give him a definitely doable.

William “Blackie” Zupkoski The self proclaimed...

Sun, 23 May 2010 15:28:54 -0700

William “Blackie” Zupkoski

The self proclaimed “Toughest Man in Philadelphia”, who is so tough he doesn’t have a Wikipedia page, Zupkoski was sentenced to 70-140 years at Eastern State for over 40 counts of armed robbery. He was apprehended in 1927 following a shoot out with police in a local hospital. While at Eastern State Blackie continued his troublemaking ways. For example, he stabbed a man to death while in prison. In 1929. When the stock market collapsed. Coincidence? I think not.

Regardless, I totally wanna tap that. He looks so rakishly charming. Stabbing inmates, robbing banks, ripping off your clothes and pleasuring you like you’ve never been pleasured before, all in a days work. Just doing my job, ma’am.

And Zupkoski? Name like that, it makes you wonder what else he can do with his tongue. You know? Yeah, you know.

J. Robert Oppenheimer, the most attractive scientist I’ve...

Tue, 18 May 2010 15:41:00 -0700

J. Robert Oppenheimer, the most attractive scientist I’ve ever seen.

Not only did he apparently smoke a cigarette while looking at random photographers like he could make them moan with just the lustful intensity of his gaze, he was also a total badass. He went to Harvard, and then he went to Cambridge, where he doused an apple in toxic chemicals and left it on a desk for his lab tutor to munch on, and presumably die from. His tutor didn’t die (evidently not a fan of apples), but Jesus Christ. Talk about a bad boy. And then he like, invented the nuclear bomb and shit. I bet he could split your atoms all night. If you know what I mean. You’d be working with the force of nuclear explosions between the sheets.

The 20-year-old Johannes Brahms. Mmmmmmmm. He played piano from...

Tue, 11 May 2010 12:39:00 -0700

The 20-year-old Johannes Brahms.

Mmmmmmmm. He played piano from a young age, and cello. He probably played piano in brothels in his teens. (That’s hot.) The story’s been disputed, but I choose to believe it. Also, he said that he would have given anything to have written Strauss’s Blue Danube waltz. And then they were BFFs for life. Can you say adorbs?? Anyway, if you’re listening, Brahmy Boy, I’ll Double your Concerto in A Minor anytime.

This is Henri III, King of France. All sorts of debonair. His...

Tue, 13 Apr 2010 12:39:00 -0700

This is Henri III, King of France. All sorts of debonair.

His mom called him “Chers Yeux,” which is both deeply disturbing and strangely erotic. And nine, he was all cute and rebellious and decided he was a Protestant. His parents were pissed. Also, everyone thought he was gay, because he didn’t like war and hunting (Say it with me: “Awwwwww!”), but he probably wasn’t maybe. Who knows. Spot The Gay World Ruler is every historian’s favorite game. He probably liked women too, at least. But best of all, he just loved silly hats.

Henry Brougham, 1st Baron Brougham Hot. Damn. I didn’t...

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 12:01:00 -0700

Henry Brougham, 1st Baron Brougham

Hot. Damn. I didn’t know people this attractive legitimately existed in the past. I don’t usually consider myself to be particularly promiscuous with strangers, or a necrophiliac, but my GOD, I would tap that in a heartbeat. For reals. I mean, not his dead body for reals. But if I had a time machine for reals.

Henry Brougham was Lord Chancellor of the UK, and he was one of the clients of Harriette Wilson, notorious Regency hooker. He also designed the Brougham, the carriage mentioned in many a Jane Austen fan fiction that somehow got published.

Alger Hiss was…. a badass with a pipe. He may or may not...

Mon, 22 Mar 2010 10:00:00 -0700

Alger Hiss was…. a badass with a pipe. He may or may not have hidden some film in a pumpkin? I don’t think that’s the best place to hide film, but whatevs. I’m pretty sure he didn’t do it, though. I’m going to read some books and get back to you on this fascinating (and sexy) man, but for now- he took on HUAC like a badass motherfucker.