Alexander Graham Bell. He invented the telephone and-get this-the metal detector! He was also goddamn sexy. Look at that beard. He looks like he should be playing bass in a hipster band in some tiny back room of a bar that doesn’t card on a stage lit only by Christmas lights and the broken dreams of the performers. I bet Thomas Watson had some kind of sexual awakening when he heard those words, whispered huskily through the mouthpiece. Mr. Watson, come here. I want to see you. Oh god. Hawt.

Alexander Graham Bell. He invented the telephone and-get this-the metal detector! He was also goddamn sexy. Look at that beard. He looks like he should be playing bass in a hipster band in some tiny back room of a bar that doesn’t card on a stage lit only by Christmas lights and the broken dreams of the performers. I bet Thomas Watson had some kind of sexual awakening when he heard those words, whispered huskily through the mouthpiece. Mr. Watson, come here. I want to see you. Oh god. Hawt.